will work for shoes.

The quest for a new job really leaves me feeling empty.
never have i been one to search for jobs or boyfriends.
i like letting them come to me.
so, somehow, i feel a bit...un-ladylike throwing myself out there like i am.

yes, i know. that is weird.

luckily, my search isn't DIRE. i still have my current job, and a few pennies a month to spare on food and gas. but, i can't afford to level with the staus-quo. and here in dallas, that is unacceptable.

:)

jk.

but really, i just want a change of pace. a new window to look out of that isn't overshadowing a hobo-lair. i have been on 2.5 interviews. (the .5 being one that was cancelled bc the position had been filled.) and i have another tomorrow. the interviews go really well. but then....silence.

it's like a first date.
they take me out. we have a great time. "i'll call you k!"
"YESSSSSS"

so i go to bed that night with stars in my eyes and giddy about the relationship that will bud. and what we will name our fish. and how i will dress for the next date...

and? nothing. no job offers. no secondary interviews. no drug tests, or urine analysis...just an occasional email to tell me i am not experienced enough...

do i even NEED to go into that analogy?!

::so proud of myself for that joke::

and since it was never in my blood to track down boys and make them take me out again because i WANT them to pursue ME....
i just sit by the phone and wait for the employers to realize how much they need me.

...and they DO!









[not]

shine down on me!

dude..

i used a handy little tool, called "salary wizard", to decide how much i should ask for when i am FINALLY called for the phone interview...

(so far, interviewer is 2.5 hours late to the interview. does this mean it is OK if i am 2.5 hours late to work?)

luckily, the EXACT amount that i want just HAPPENS to be the median in the DFW area for my career level. isn't that nice? almost 14,000 dollars more a year. and i LIKE the way that sounds.

(according to salary wizsard, i was ROYALLY screwed for the past 18 months.)

i just don't even have the capacity to work there anymore.
i am so.sick.and.tired.of that place.
i need something new. and by new, i mean i need a lot of money so i can purchase a nice smart new car that doesn't perform like satan on sleeping pills.

maybe i should just quit tomorrow anyway even though i have yet to hear from the interviewer.
and then, even if i DON't get the job, i will still have a summer break to sit by the pool.

i wonder how much i can get paid doing that.
?

updates and promises

when you get closer, i got nervous.
not in the sense that i am scared to have you near, but more that i am scared that you will change your mind.
or maybe that we wouldn't like each other anymore.
or maybe that we never really liked each other at all, but didn't know it.

either way, it was a bit like sitting on a heap of eggs waiting for each breath to be the one to start the cracking.

and each harsh word we say will bring us tumbling towards the epicenter of a giant earth shattering quake.
to break our little world.
that we had blue prints to create.

i still sit waiting. searching for the glue that will hold my eggs close to me.
::crack::
one row down, but as the tip of a pyramid, it was minor.
it's the strong foundation that i am worried about splitting.

and i think sometimes we will make it, but it would be a lot easier if you would help me from this heap of shells that am atop.

you have to choose me.
which entails choosing to help me.
which entails helping yourself some, too.
which entails me helping you.
which entails helping myself.

and we all live happily in our made up world, upon our nest eggs that we hold firm together with gushy, gooey love.

i am serious.